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Familyhood Newsletter
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November 5, 2003
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Familyhood Education Foundation and Kudos For Kids
November 5, 2003 Newsletter
Hello Everyone,
Am I dreaming or is it almost the Holidays? I have been reflecting on what the Traditional Holiday Season really means to me and my family. First, I get to be with my family and share in all the giggles, shopping, wrapping of gifts, preparing of the delicious food, but the greatest thing of all is doing for others what they can not do for themselves, as in bringing cheer and gladness to the lonely and forgotten. Last year there was a family (a neighbor of my daughter’s) where the Dad was out of work, the children had no hope of having anything that even resembled a Christmas, and last of all, their bent, no branches, dead tree that has nothing under it or on it, which was a disaster to look at, was a stark reminder of their plight. This was a great opportunity to show my grandchildren what service to others is all about. We included them in the wrapping of the toys, food and treats along with some home made tree trimmings. What a wonderful event for them to experience. We were chatting, playing and wrapping all at the same time anticipating the smiling faces of the neighbor’s children when we would arrive at their door singing holiday music.
What does this have to do with Parenting? As parents and Grand Parents we model what is good (or not so good) As Parents and Grand Parents, we might choose better ways to be more interesting to be around. What are your talents? What do you share of yourself? Are you hiding behind family secrets? Are you open and forthright? Are you fun?What are you like to live with? Are you boring and way to sensitive?
In Chapter 18 of "Your Children Will Whistle While They Work" we read about how as parents we train a child what he/she should or should not do. "When we reward a child for DOING something he SHOULD NOT do we are training him/her to misbehave. If a child begins to scream when you tell him/her it’s bed time and he/she must put the toys away and then because he/she is screaming, YOU put the toys away.." what have you just taught your child? You have taught your child HOW to MISBEHAVE......
How much happier and peaceful your home can be when you seek out rewarding projects that include your children’s input. When I visit my family, I make Cheese Onion Bread (yummy) I invite my grandchildren to help me...they like to "knead" the bread, and add all the yummy things to the dough, then "knead" it again......then they like to shape the loaf. I was going to make the bread anyway, but WHEN THEY HAVE FINISHED THEIR CHORES, THEY GET TO HELP ME BAKE THE BREAD.." So, when all the chores are done, then we have fun together baking bread, giggling, talking and bonding as a family.
All I have to say... "when the chores are done we will bake bread..." now my grandchildren already know it is fun to be with "Grandma" and they run to get their "stuff" done. What if I was "crabby", "cranky" and "boring" to be with, would I get the same happy response? If you want a happier more fun and cooperative family, adjust your attitude to promote what you want. It all begins with us as individuals. I would encourage you as parents and grandparents to really study the "Token Economy" and put into practice those correct principles and watch the change take place in your home. I would encourage all of us to take a personal inventory of who we are and how best to change what we need to change. A final question: How will I be remembered when this life is finished?
Our families are way to precious and fragile to "spin our wheels" with incorrect parenting principles and then get angry that "nothing works.".......
I look forward to your comments and suggestions...
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